Quick Definition
Intermittent reinforcement is when good treatment arrives only some of the time, at random. That unpredictability makes a person much harder to let go of than someone who is steadily kind. This quiz asks about ten signs of that cycle and gives you a score with a plain reading. It is for reflection, not diagnosis.
What Is Intermittent Reinforcement?
Intermittent reinforcement is a reward schedule where the good thing arrives only some of the time, unpredictably. It comes from learning research, where behaviour rewarded every time fades quickly once the reward stops, while behaviour rewarded at random keeps going far longer. In a relationship, that means a partner who is warm sometimes and distant other times can be much harder to leave than one who is consistently unkind.
Why the Good Weeks Make It Worse
Most people assume that proof someone can be good is a reason for hope. In this pattern it works the other way. Because the warm version is real and you have met them, you are not being naive when you believe they exist. You are only wrong about how often you get access to them. And when good treatment is rare, it feels larger than it is, which quietly moves your standard down without you agreeing to it.
A Reflection, Not a Diagnosis
This quiz is for self-reflection and is not a clinical assessment of you or anyone else. Not every difficult relationship involves this pattern, and a low score does not mean everything is fine. What matters is how the relationship is affecting your sleep, your friendships, your work, and your sense of yourself. If those are being worn down, that is worth acting on regardless of what a score says.
Common Questions
What is intermittent reinforcement?
It means good treatment shows up some of the time instead of all of the time, with no pattern you can predict. Because the reward is random, your brain keeps trying. Research on partial reinforcement shows that behaviour rewarded only occasionally takes much longer to fade than behaviour rewarded every time. Applied to a relationship, the inconsistency makes it harder to leave, not easier.
Does a high score mean I am addicted to this person?
The word addicted is shorthand rather than a clinical claim. What a high score means is that you are on a reward schedule that is very hard to step off, and that your behaviour has started organising itself around it. That is a real thing worth taking seriously, and it is not a character flaw.
Is this the same as a trauma bond?
They are close but not identical. Intermittent reinforcement is the mechanism, the on and off reward. A trauma bond is the attachment that mechanism builds over time, usually when the cold periods involve real harm. One is the engine, the other is what the engine drives.
Why do I feel worse when things are calm?
Because living on alert changes your baseline. If your best feeling in the relationship has been relief when the tension breaks, then calm has nothing to offer you. It can even feel like something is wrong. That settles once you are out of the cycle, though it takes longer than most people expect.
Is my score private?
Yes. Everything runs in your browser and the result is stored only on your device so you can return to it. Nothing is uploaded and there is no signup. Retaking the quiz clears it.