Quick Definition
DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It describes what happens when you raise a problem and the other person denies it, turns on you, then becomes the injured party. This quiz asks about ten everyday signs of that sequence. You get a score and a plain reading of it. It is a reflection tool, not a diagnosis.
What Is DARVO?
DARVO is a four step sequence that plays out in a single conversation. First the thing is denied. Then you get attacked for bringing it up, often about your tone or your timing rather than the issue. Then the roles reverse, so the person who caused the harm becomes the one who is hurt. The name comes from research on how people respond when confronted about causing harm. What makes it hard to spot is speed. All four steps can happen in a few minutes, which is why you often only notice the result rather than the sequence.
Why the Confusion Comes Afterwards
Most people describe the same thing after one of these conversations. Not anger. Confusion. That happens because you walked in with one topic and walked out holding a different one, without ever agreeing to the change. Your mind keeps trying to find the moment where it turned, and there usually is not a clean one. The confusion is not a sign that you handled it badly or that your memory is unreliable. It is what a moved goalpost feels like from the inside.
A Reflection, Not a Diagnosis
This quiz is for honest reflection only. It cannot assess another person and it is not a clinical tool. What matters more than any label is the effect on you. If you have stopped raising things because you already know how it will go, that is meaningful on its own. Keeping your own written record, talking to people who know you, and speaking with a therapist are all reasonable next steps.
Common Questions
What does DARVO stand for?
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It describes a sequence where someone denies what they did, attacks the person raising it, then swaps the roles so they become the injured party. The term comes from research into how people respond when confronted about causing harm.
Does DARVO mean the person is doing it on purpose?
Not always, and this quiz cannot answer that. Some people run this pattern knowingly. Others have learned it as a way to avoid feeling blamed and do not track what they are doing. The effect on you is much the same either way, which is why the quiz asks about effects rather than motives.
Is my score private?
Yes. Everything runs in your browser and your result is saved only on your own device so you can come back to it. Nothing is sent anywhere and there is no signup. You can clear it any time by retaking the quiz.
Why do I always end up apologising?
Because by the end of the sequence the conversation is no longer about what you raised. It is about how you raised it, or about how the other person feels now. Apologising is the fastest way to end something that has become uncomfortable. That is a reasonable reflex, not a character flaw.
What should I do with a high score?
Write things down. In this pattern the record of what was said gets rewritten fast, and having your own notes helps you hold on to your version. Tell someone you trust the honest account. Consider speaking to a therapist, because this is genuinely hard to unpick alone. If you have ever felt unsafe, contact a local support service.